The Most Grown-Up Thing You Can Do? Be Yourself.
Adulthood is often presented as a checklist: get a job, pay your bills, be responsible, act “mature.” But what if I told you that the most adult thing you could ever do is simply to live life on your own terms?
For years, we’ve been told what it means to be a “proper” adult: what to wear, how to behave, what to prioritize. “Act your age.” “Dress like an adult.” “Don’t be childish.” But here’s the truth: Listening to those rules at the expense of your own happiness isn’t maturity, it’s conformity. The real mark of adulthood is knowing that the only person who truly matters in your life is you.
That’s not to say you should be selfish or dismiss others. Quite the opposite! Being an adult means valuing and respecting every person and every life, understanding that we are all on our own unique journeys. It means letting people live how they want to, without judgment, and extending that same freedom to yourself. It means making choices that bring you joy, rather than ones that simply meet others’ expectations.
“The only person who truly matters in your life is you.”
Let’s Talk About the “Act Like an Adult” Myth
Somewhere along the way, we’ve decided that adulthood means turning down the volume on everything fun, vibrant, and expressive. We’ve all heard it: “Don’t act like a child.” “Grow up.” “That’s not appropriate for your age.” But what does that even mean? Why should hitting a certain number on the age scale mean abandoning joy, playfulness, and the things that make life exciting?
Want to wear bright, funky clothes instead of dull “adult” outfits? Do it. Want to dye your hair neon green just because? Go for it. Want to dance in the middle of the street, sing loudly to your favorite song, or laugh at silly jokes? Why not?
People love to equate joy, playfulness, and self-expression with immaturity. But why should happiness be reserved for childhood? A truly wise and grown-up person knows that life is too short to live for other people’s opinions, be yourself.
The Queer Joy of Living Authentically
For the queer community, this idea of living authentically is even more important. Many of us grow up being told to “tone it down” or “blend in.” We’re asked to conform to standards that were never made with us in mind. But here’s the thing: adulthood is the perfect time to reclaim our joy and expression in all its fabulous, rainbow-colored glory.
Wear that crop top. Rock that androgynous look. Express yourself however you want, whether that means being the most colorful, glittery version of yourself or leaning into a vibe that’s uniquely and beautifully you. Because here’s the secret: there is no universal way to be an adult.
We are not all meant to fit into one boring, beige box labeled “adulthood.” Some of us are bold, loud, and expressive. Some of us are quiet, introspective, and soft. And all of it is valid. Your adulthood should look like whatever makes you feel the most you.
“We’re asked to conform to standards that were never made with us in mind.”
Stop Apologizing for Taking Up Space
So many people, especially those from marginalized communities, grow up feeling like they need to shrink themselves to fit into the world’s expectations. But real adulthood is about unlearning that conditioning and giving yourself permission to take up space, exactly as you are.
If you want to fill your home with stuffed animals and bright pink walls? Do it. If you want to wear a suit one day and a ballgown the next? Hell yes. If you want to wear no makeup or go full drag every time you leave the house? That’s your call.
The point is, life is too short to let someone else decide what your adulthood should look like. Be yourself. If your choices aren’t hurting anyone, they are yours to make. And anyone who tells you otherwise is just trying to put their own fears and limitations onto you.
What About Responsibility?
Let’s clear something up, choosing to live life on your own terms doesn’t mean dodging responsibilities. Paying your bills, taking care of yourself and others, and being a kind human? That’s part of adulthood. But none of those things require you to give up your individuality, joy, or self-expression.
Being responsible and being authentically you, are not mutually exclusive. In fact, the best version of adulthood is one where you take care of what needs to be done while still making space for happiness, creativity, and fun.
“Life is too short to let someone else decide what your adulthood should look like.”
Breaking Free From the “Shoulds”
At some point, we all have to let go of the “shoulds”, what we “should” wear, how we “should” act, what we “should” like. Because honestly? Most of those “shoulds” come from people who aren’t even happy themselves. If someone is telling you how to live your life, it probably means they never gave themselves permission to live their own.
So let’s flip the script. Instead of asking, “What should I do?” try asking, “What do I want to do?” Instead of wondering, “How should I act?” ask, “What makes me feel the most alive?”
The best thing about adulthood? You get to make your own rules. And the sooner you embrace that, the sooner you get to live a life that’s fully, unapologetically yours.
The Vegan Perspective: Living with Compassion and Choice
Living authentically also means making choices that align with your values. For some, that includes being vegan, choosing to live in a way that respects and values all life. Adulthood isn’t just about doing what’s expected; it’s about making conscious choices that feel right for you.
Being vegan isn’t about following some rigid rulebook, it’s about embracing kindness, sustainability, and a deeper connection to the world. It’s about saying, “I care about the impact I have,” while still allowing yourself to enjoy incredible food, vibrant meals, and a lifestyle that reflects who you truly are. Just like expressing yourself through clothing or creativity, your diet is another way to be unapologetically you.
So if you love bright, plant-based foods, cruelty-free living, and making choices that align with your heart? That’s just another way to embrace your most authentic adulthood.
“If you really want to be an adult, start living for yourself.”
The Final Takeaway, Be Yourself
If you really want to be an adult, start living for yourself. Choose what makes you happy. Dress how you want. Cut or color your hair however you like. Watch whatever brings you joy. Eat in a way that aligns with your values. Follow your own rules, as long as they align with kindness and respect.
Because the most grown-up thing you can do? Is to be unapologetically you. And that, my friend, is pretty damn beautiful.
